It is by no means easy to transfer clear scientific insights about the development of infants – Beijer’s area of expertise – to a home setting, partly because there are few robust, long-term studies into what works and what doesn’t, says the researcher. The scientific insights that are well-developed – such as about bonding, and sleep – often result in diametrically opposed recommendations for parents.
Of course, there are recommendations that are supported by science, such as the World Health Organization’s (WHO) recommendation to breastfeed for the first six months and to place the cot near the parents’ bed at night. “Sleeping in the parents’ room reduces the risk of cot death, probably because parents can react immediately to worrying sounds.” However, research has shown that this advice is implemented poorly: only 30% of parents manage to sleep in the same room as their child for the full six months. “Parents think that this will spoil their child and that it will always be relying on the proximity of its parents to fall or stay asleep, for example.”
Beijers points out that the WHO recommendation is also ignored so the parents can get better sleep: after all, many parents have to go back to work soon after the birth, “and then some parents find it hard when every little sigh and cough from the cot keeps them awake.” Beijers is an advocate for longer parental leave. “The circumstances often cause a great deal of unrest and do not create the right conditions for following recommendations such as those from the WHO. I feel we’re heading down the wrong track here. A good start is not only important for the baby, but for the whole of society, as this reduces the risk of problems at a later age.”
Alleged spoiling
The alleged spoiling with the cot beside the parents’ bed is only one of various myths doing the rounds. The research published about this does not show a relationship between the proximity of the cot and the future dependency of the child. Another persistent myth is the recommendation to not comfort children too quickly, including when crying persistently or crying at bedtime. Lay wisdom states that you should “Let them cry, otherwise they will be spoilt and continue taking up your time.” “Nonsense,” says Beijers. “Based on the available data, you should comfort, or try to comfort, babies of six months and younger. When babies are really young, they cannot make the connection between cause and effect. It seems to be more harmful, from the point of view of later attachment, to ignore crying.”
Bottle feeding is of the same ilk: baby formula is said to be so good nowadays that you can save yourself the hassle of breastfeeding, let alone pumping. “Also not true,” says Beijers, referring to the amazing qualities of breast milk. It contains substances that respond to your baby's needs, with different kinds of milk depending on the time of day, and whether it is a boy or girl. “The milk even adapts when your baby is sick. These are all things that you cannot mimic with baby formula.”
Parenting stress
In Beijers' view, it is precisely the diverse development of the very youngest infants that makes parenting books problematic: parenting does not fit into a mould. She mentions the book The Wonder Weeks (Oei, ik groei! in Dutch) that is based around fixed development steps with fixed deadlines and which has been immensely popular with parents for years. “Scientifically, the book is not up to standard, but unfortunately that makes no difference to its success.” Instead of parenting books, Beijers recommends insight books to parents so that they can understand the wide variety in development. “Then you will understand that most babies will not sleep through the night in the first weeks, and that you do not need to worry about it.”
This article was written in response to a question from a Radboud Recharge reader. More answers to reader questions can be found by using in our summer special.
Photo: Lubomirkin via Unsplash