Parents tend to be ideally placed to support and guide their children in selecting a study programme. “Research has shown time and again that parents are the most important advisor for secondary school students when it comes to choosing a study programme,” says Hermien Miltenburg, former lecturer and parent advisor at Wageningen University & Research. “You should be aware of the important role you play for your child. Financial pressures and the ever-widening array of study programmes haven’t made their choice any easier in recent years, so they can use all the help they can get.”
Don’t wait too long to start exploring programmes, and accompany your child to open days
You probably already know this, but it is still an important tip: don’t wait too long to start talking about study choice. That way, your child will have enough time to look at different study programmes and attend information events. Students Thomas and Evelien discovered the areas that matched their interests at an education fair, but your child can also complete some study choice tests at studiekeuze123.nl. In addition, twice a year, Radboud University organises an online orientation week especially designed to help prospective students discover their interest areas. As soon as you have a more concrete idea of where your child’s interests lie, a useful next step is to attend an open day. Don’t hesitate to offer to accompany your child to these information events.
Thomas (22), Master’s student in Physics at Radboud University: “I really liked my parents coming with me to open days. Exploring a new city together is nice, especially since we always managed to turn it into a fun day out. In addition to visiting the university, we’d take some time to soak up the atmosphere of the city centre. I think that as a parent, you’re ideally placed to check whether a city is a good fit for your child, which is also an important factor in making a decision.”
Reassure your child and share your own experiences
It may be that your child finds it difficult to make a choice, or that their first choice is not necessarily the right one. When Evelien (21) decided after her first year in Physiotherapy at the University of Applied Sciences that she wanted to switch to a university Psychology programme, she was faced with a difficult choice. “I felt insecure about so many things. Was I too old to switch programmes? Would I be able to handle the academic level? What if I got it wrong again?”
Evelien’s father, Wilbert: “We tried to reassure Evelien as much as we could, and to really listen to her as she explored these questions. This bit of extra support was something she really needed in that phase. As it turns out, she had no trouble fitting in at the university, and she’s really found her place.”
Parent advisor Hermien Miltenburg recognises this need for reassurance. On her website, studiekeuzekind.nl, she lists more tips and experiences, specifically for parents. Her advice: tell your child about your own career, and be open about your failures. “That way, you can show them that your own path wasn’t straightforward either. By the end of their career, only 2-3% of people have a job that perfectly matches their study programme. This relieves a lot of pressure, and reminds your child that the choice for a study programme does not completely define their future career.”
Ask critical questions, but choose your moment
It is also important not to steer your children too much; Miltenburg believes that it is important to critically consider the quality of a study programme together with your child. “People tend to structurally ignore the facts and figures for Bachelor’s programmes. And that while figures on career perspectives or drop-out rates can be very valuable.” This information can be found, for example, in the Keuzegids (study programme catalogue).
As a rule, teenagers don’t enjoy being asked critical questions, so choose your moment carefully. Hermien: “Pick the right moment: wait until your child is open to dialogue, and then strike. I’ve had lots of conversations with my children while out on a walk, or during a short car drive. Small moments usually work better than sitting down for a one-hour talk.”
Let your child follow their heart and set your own interests aside
One open day was enough for Thomas to know what he wanted to do: study Physics in Nijmegen. His mother, Brigitte, who works in healthcare, thought her son might also enjoy Technical Medicine at the University of Twente. “At the open day in Twente, I could immediately feel that Thomas didn’t like it. So I decided not to burden my child with my own interests. I think physics is a lot of abracadabra, but I can see that he loves it. And that’s the most important thing, as far as I’m concerned. My advice to other parents is to let your child follow their heart. My daughter wanted to do something with theatre, a field with relatively poor job prospects. But we decided to give it a go anyway. Ultimately, things always turn out all right, and your child will find their way.”
Hermien also wants to warn parents not to be too hard on themselves. “For some parents, the process of watching their child choose a study programme is really hard. You can’t force your children to make a particular choice, or even to study at all. I personally spent many sleepless nights worrying about whether I should have allowed my children to make certain choices. But making choices is also a skill that your children have to learn. Choosing a study programme is the last process in which you can talk to your child about important existential questions: Who am I? What am I good at? And what do I find important? See it as the last exercise in helping your child to learn to choose. And whatever choice they make: it’s up to them at the end of the day.”
Photo: Dick van Aalst